What Makes the Ordinary...Extraordinary

Every day I drive past this certain little coffee shop on the way to work. I rarely stop there because I brew my own tea most every morning. However, the other day the shop's reader-board caught my eye. It read, "Thanks for a great 2012!"

I was impressed! I mean, how many businesses are saying that 2012 was a great year? You don't hear that on the nightly news! Why, most of the companies I've been hearing about are still complaining about the recession. But this non-descript little drive-through coffee store out in the middle of nowheresville was actually thanking their customers for helping them have a great year.

I started trying to mentally account for their success. I knew that their product wasn't so special because I've been there a few times, and their tea and hot chocolate were just OK.(I couldn't speak for their coffee because I don't drink it anymore.) So it's wasn't their location OR their product.

"Hmmm," I wondered. "What is the key to their success?"

My passenger reached over and thumped me on the forehead.

 "Silly girl..." he said. "What does their SIGN say?"

"It says thank you for a great 2012."

"So what does that say about the business owner...besides that she's doing well?" he queried.

The light-bulb finally came on.

"Ohhhh, I get it...they are grateful; and they tell their customers as much."

"Good girl; now you're thinking! An attitude of gratitude can take something ordinary and make it extraordinary. Isn't that what you're constantly telling your students? So now... let's make it more personal. How was YOUR 2012?"

Well I've been so busy thinking about how I want 2013 to be, that I had to take a moment to really stop and recount what went on in my life last year.

"Well, it was really good, now that you mention it. I've been pretty healthy and happy. Our children and grands are doing well. Hubby has fully recovered from some physical issues that seemed pretty serious a few years ago. We've both got jobs, and I just adore the kids I work with. So yeah, it was a good year, when you really think about it."

"And are you grateful?" asked my friend.

"Yes, of course!" I replied.

"And did you thank those who helped you last year?"

"Well, not in so many words..."

I was feeling a little sheepish. That little story in the Bible about the 10 lepers that Jesus healed came to mind. Remember? He healed 10 of them and they all ran off to show themselves to the priest so that they could be declared 'clean' and allowed back into society. But then 1 of them turned and ran back to Jesus and said 'thanks.' Jesus asked him where the other nine were. Apparently Jesus felt sad that only one had enough courtesy and gratitude to tell him thanks.

How many good things, I wondered, have happened to me in 2012 that I took for granted?  I knew the answer...too many to number.

I turned to my Friend. "Thank you, Lord. You've been so kind to me all year. I can't even count all the times you've helped me out. My family, my marriage, my job, health, a home, why even this nice car we're driving in...literally everything I have is because of You. I'm so sorry not to have mentioned it before. Thank you Lord, for a great 2012!"

"You're welcome," He answered quietly.

And so, having made things right with my BFF, Jesus, by thanking Him for all of his blessings in 2012...I want to acknowledge YOU.

Readers, Thank YOU for your visits, kind words, and encouragement in 2012. I know you don't HAVE to read my blog; but you do...and for that I am truly grateful to you. Blessings to you!

Let us all go forward into 2013 with an attitude of gratitude, which according to my Friend of Friends...makes the ordinary extraordinary!

Most of my photographs, like this one, are of ordinary things because to me, the ordinary is so very beautiful. This photo makes me feel somehow like I am almost coming home after a long journey. I imagine a happy reunion inside with loved ones who've been waiting...

Debbie's Life Lesson #4---Banish Self-Deprecation

Can we talk?

I need to talk to you about the way you talk...

When I say this you look startled and a bit worried. You're wondering if I heard you say s#^%! when you dropped your coffee mug on the floor the other day; or if I'm offended because you told me your Aunt Helen is a crazy old bat. Nope, that's not what's bothering me. It's more serious than an occasional curse word; and face it, we've all got friends and family that get on our last nerve. What I'm talking about is really more like verbal abuse.

You look shocked. "Who me...verbally abusive? When? Where? To whom?"

The answer is every day, everywhere. I've heard you at church, at work, at the mall, in the restaurant, and even in the blogosphere. And just who are you verbally abusing? Yourself.

It's such a bad habit now, that I don't think you even realize how disparaging, how self-deprecating you've become.

"Hey, wait a minute!" you say. "I can say what I want about myself. And it's certainly better to be a little self-deprecating, a little humble, than to be a big fat bragger. People need to learn to laugh at themselves."

Hmm, feeling a bit defensive aren't we?

I used to be a master of self-deprecation. I too, once thought it was harmless. It started so simply; the self-degrading remarks. It seemed to make people laugh. Made them feel more at ease around me. This way they knew I wasn't stuck up. And since I was painfully shy, it was a way to sort of break the ice.  So I began making funny cracks about my weight, my big nose, lack of memory, crooked teeth, etc. Why, I had so many flaws it seemed there was no end of 'material' for my schtich.  It almost became a part of my personality.

 Then one night I saw how bad it had gotten--the self-deprecation--when we were playing cards with some friends. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. Somehow the subject turned to me and to my surprise my friends started saying all of the mean things about me that I'd been saying about myself---in jest, of course.

"Well, Debbie, are you going to make another bone-headed play because you can't remember numbers? Look, everyone's won a round but you!  You're the biggest loser! HA, HA, HA!"

Those words stung. We went on a weekend trip with the same couple, and I noticed that more often than not, I'd become the butt of this couple's jokes. Yet to be fair, they were the same words I'd said many times about myself. That's when I realized that I'd actually taught my friends to treat and think of me in that way.

But enough about me. Back to you. Here are some of the things I've been  hearing you say... I'm such an idiot! What a moron! I'm as fat as a cow. Pretty soon I'll have to go to the sporting goods store to buy my clothes...in the tent section! My nose is so long you could use it for a ski jump! I'm the biggest klutz---I should join the circus! I'm such a slob--my house is always a pigsty. I look like an old hag; just look at all of this grey hair. I can't do anything right! I could go on.

This friends, is not humility and it isn't funny. Humility is knowing your worth but not being affected or obnoxious about it. When you think about it, one has to have something good going for them in order to have a need for humility. Fellow Christians, wasn't Jesus the most humble man on earth? Did he ever make fun of himself? Self-deprecation is actually false-humility that is clevery cloked in manipulation. It's designed to stave off criticism by being the first to criticize oneself. It's a basic tool for those lacking confidence. It's also a staple for those who want the conversation to revolve around themselves without seeming arrogant. Ouch!

And funny? Well funny is when you can laugh at yourself, someone else or something without any malice. Unfortunately, our society has all but forgotten how to recognize funny. Sarcasm has replaced wit. Vulgarity and mean-spirited 'zingers' are passed off as humor.

Debbies Life Lesson #4

When you're thinking of saying something negative about yourself, ask yourself, "Would I say this to, or about my child or someone I dearly love?" If the answer is no, zip it! Talk about the book you just read. Talk about the weather. Talk about your dog. But please, for heaven's sake, stop beating yourself up!

What was that that thing your mom always said...If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?

Remember...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously

give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - marianne williamson

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Washington winter scenes

Damp, misty rain. Swollen creek and muddy paths in the wood.



Gloomy, misty winters make for towering Washington evergreens.

Summer wildflowers and autumn leaves are laid to rest. In their place all manner of moss and fungi grow.



Mount Baker calmly presides over the winter valley;  all stately and serene.

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Take Two

I needed to find an important something-or-another the other day so I ventured into the twilight zone-- otherwise known as our home office. You've got to have nerve to enter that room! In addition to the old computer there's a sewing machine, fabric, a banker's box full of my writing, two bookcases loaded with heaven know's what, a huge box of furnace filters, a music stand, a ripped sofa cushion with bits of foam oozing from the hole, a half-done knitting project--(I quit when I realized the hat would not fit any living human), an easel, and some pieces of foam board. That's just for starters. Do you think I found what I was looking for? Nope. Not a chance.

We've been saying for months that were gonna clean that room up; but it's not happening. There are so many more fun things to do than to sort through boxes of cancelled checks and snippets of fabric. So here's what I decided. In addition to the obligatory weekly vacuuming around the boxes and the swipe of the swiffer over the computer monitor; each and every time I enter the room I will take two things out, or at least organize two things. Today I put an unsent birthday card in the secretary where it belongs and placed two renegade bingo daubers in my art supplies basket. That's all. And it's amazing how quickly things are shaping up! So much so that I've adopted the 'take two' policy for every room in the house. After work I wander into each room and deal with two items. It only takes a couple of minutes. Really.

Of course I still cook, do dishes, throw in a load of laundry, vacuum, and scour the bathroom regularly. (We're not filthy people, just prone to clutter.) But sometimes when stuff winds up where it's not supposed to be, we sort of cease to notice it after awhile. It becomes invisible. This easy little habit is helping me to see that I've left bobby pins on the bathroom vanity and price tags from my new sweater on the dresser. And I'm thinking twice before just tossing something on the nearest flat surface.

Will this habit turn me into a neat freak? Never. I love a house that looks a little tousled. Nothing should be perfect. That's not real. A little order, that's all I want. Two items at a time!

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