One of My Most Embarrassing Moments

          Back in our dating days, Kelly asked me to attend a wedding with him. Some guy he worked with was tying the knot. I didn't know the bride and groom from Adam, but I agreed to go.
     I chose my outfit carefully, wanting to impress Kelly and his friends. I picked a pretty black and white plaid skirt that I'd just sewn, and topped it with a simple white blouse. Conservative and classy. And gosh, that skirt was cute! It was made from a lightweight, kind of madras-y fabric; all summery and cool. It was full and gathered at my then-tiny waist, and draped nicely around my calves. Sewing it had been a breeze. It had only a couple of pattern pieces, straight lines, and a hook and eye at the waist; rather than those bothersome zippers. I was pretty proud of that creation.
     Well, we sat through a rather boring, non-descript kind of ceremony. I'm probably making it sound worse than it was; but I didn't know a single soul there, so it was rather like watching someone's home video of their wedding. After several hours a long ceremony, the vows were finally taken, the groom kissed the bride, and the reception was about to commence in the church's fellowship hall. The fellowship hall was located behind the sanctuary. To get there, we had to line up along the sides of the pews and file through a door by the side of the altar.  The line was moving at a snail's pace. I stood there- gift in hand, shifting from one uncomfortable sandal to the other...waiting for the line to move.
     All of a sudden I felt a breeze whooshing around my legs. Odd. I looked down to see my plaid skirt lying around my ankles. The hook and eye had broken and the skirt had fallen down. OH MY GOODNESS!  Thank God I had heeded my mother's warnings about wearing a slip in case you're caught in an accident or something! This definitely qualified as an 'or something'!  I glanced around. Amazingly, no one had noticed yet-not even the people right behind me in line. I inconspicuously reached down with one hand (still holding the gift in the other) and pulled the skirt up. But in doing so, the skirt was caught beneath my slip and pushed my slip up around my waist. I didn't want to attract any attention by setting the gift down, so decided the best move was to get out of there...fast! I grabbed Kelly's arm and said, "We gotta go."
     "Why?"
     "Look!" I hissed, pointing to my skirt.
     "Holy toledo...what are you doing?" he yelled.
     "C'mon, let's go!"
     "Geez", he quipped, looking around for an audience." I knew you were inspired by the wedding, but can't you wait until we get married?"
     I didn't look around to see who was laughing at his joke, I just headed for the door, shuffling along with my skirt still wrapped around my legs; kinda like someone trying to run with their pants down.
     "Wait, Debbie!" he hollered. "They're serving food back there, and I'm hungry." HE WAS SERIOUS!
     I never looked back. The minute I got outside I stepped outta that skirt and dashed to the car, praying that the doors weren't locked. Whew! They weren't.
     Kelly showed up a minute or two later. "Can't you just pin it back together so we can go back in?"
     "NO!"
     He was awfully disappointed, but agreed to go through the Burger King drive-through.

     You learn a lot from experiences like this.

#1. Never, ever depend on a little hook and eye to keep your skirt on you. A zipper with a button at the top is your best bet.
#2. When in a strange place, always look around for the nearest exit. You may need to use it.
#3. When your date responds to a personal crisis like this; you can view him as a tactless so and so; or you can think; hey, this guy doesn't take things too seriously, and he uses humor to alleviate tense situations...and since I'm pretty serious, this could be a good match. (I chose the latter, and I was right.)
#4. Embarrasing moments usually provide a lot of laughs down the road.

So now that I've shared one of my most embarrassing moments; it's your turn...what's happened to you that made your face turn seven shades of red?

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