Overflowing Gratitude

I don't even remember now just how I wound up going to a gastroenterologist. But that's not really the point of my story anyway. In any case, somehow I was referred to the gastro guy who decided to run a scope down my throat and into my esophagus. The procedure was really a piece of cake, as procedures go; but the report...not so much. I opened the letter, read the first few words and had to go out onto the porch to catch my breath. My hubby had to read the rest of it to me. The words I remember were pre-cancerous and Barrett's Esophagus. Barrett's Esophagus is a condition where the tissue in the esophagus becomes inflamed from acid reflux and the irritated cells change to a pre-cancerous state. Not everybody with Barretts gets cancer, but it's a red flag.

The next several months were a series of trying one horrible drug after another in an attempt to control the acid reflux. My body reacted terribly to all of them. I could scarcely eat. I lost 40 pounds. I cried and prayed and went to the emergency room from time to time because it felt as though my esophagus was on fire. After a particularly bad night I called the doc to complain about the newest drug's side effects. I asked his nurse if there wasn't something I could take that was more natural. She got really snotty with me and quipped, "Maybe you should just go to a naturopath...we don't do natural here."

So I took her advice. I found a good naturopath and a new gastro doc. Went on an elimination diet to determine what foods didn't agree with me. (Turns out that yogurt and coffee were big culprits.) And after much discussion with my new gastro guy, we agreed that I would use Zantac rather than the heavy duty drugs that I had so much trouble with. Gradually, the acid reflux subsided.  And one more thing...I never stopped believing that God would heal me. Never.

When I shared my belief that I would be healed with my new doctor, he looked at me quizzically and said, "Why? Why with all of the terrible, horrible things that happen to people in this world, do you believe that God would choose to heal you?"

I quietly answered, "Because I asked Him to."

He shook his head. "OK, but you've gotta stay with the program."

"Okay," I replied.

I'm sure some folks along with my doctor might think me arrogant to believe that God would heal me. It's not arrogance. Actually, it's quite the opposite. I'll try to explain.

Have you ever known somebody who really, really needed something and it was within your power to help them? Say for instance you have a close friend who's lost their job and about to have their car repossessed because they can't make the payments. You hear about their dilemma and offer to make the payment. But they refuse your help. They're too proud to take 'handouts.'

 I decided long ago that I am not going to be that way with God. I will humbly ask Him for help with all of my problems, and I'll gladly receive all of the blessings he offers me. Then I'll thank him profusely, and rejoice in His kindness.

My doc implied that compared to all human suffering, my problem was small potatoes. I wouldn't argue that point. But I would argue that the One who controls the universe is not going to run out of miracles just because He helped me out of a jam. There's no scarcity with God!

So I just kept following the doctor's orders and kept believing. And I changed my diet. (I think often, when we get a diagnosis like this it's a warning. Like God is saying "Hey daughter...you best not be eating all of that junky food! And you need to treat that body I gave you with more care.")

It's been about 7 years and I've had 3 scopes done on my esophagus since that first one. Each time the irritated area has become smaller. The time before last we were down to the size of a pin-dot. When I commented to my doctor that my healing was progressing, he chuckled and said, "It's more likely that every time I do a biopsy I remove a little more of the scarred tissue."

I simply smiled and said, "Isn't it marvelous that God is using your hands to heal me?"

I wasn't being sarcastic--I truly feel this way. Truly, wouldn't it be a lovely thing to be used of God to heal disease?

I have kept taking the Zantac even though I haven't really had acid reflux for a few years. Today I called the doc to see if there was a good reason to continue taking it without having any symptoms. He said no.

So tonight Lord, I just want to say thank-you for healing my esophagus. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. You are altogether lovely.