Where has she gone?

Ya know how you feel when you've been following a blog for a long time and then suddenly they just stop writing? You wonder if they're on vacation or having a bout of the flu. Maybe it's writer's block. After a month or so you begin to get a little concerned. Wondering if everything's OK. Which make you feel a little nutso because you're feeling so concerned about this person you've never even met and yet you haven't heard from wacky Aunt Marge for six months and you're not worried at all! You keep checking your blogroll to see if there's anything new. Nothing. When you visit the site you're greeted by a six-month old post and the place feels like a deserted ghost town somewhere along Route 66.

So... in case you're wondering; I'm still alive and kicking. It's just that this novel idea I had to write a novel is turning out to be a tad more time consuming than I imagined. The ship has sailed and I have completely lost sight of the shore. I haven't any idea where I am going or when I will arrive. But I am enjoying the voyage; just the same.  Here's a little excerpt from my Facebook page about this journey...

"I have learned that writing a novel is like coming to a primeval forest where you've never been before and deciding to follow a path through it. Only once you venture in; it's dark and eerie and the path diverges into so many directions that you just have to randomly pick one; but it seems to lead you nowhere. You have become hopelessly lost. You panic and find yourself walking in circles and more... circles. There seems to be no way through and no way back out. But just as you feel certain you're going to die there, you notice a glimmer of light coming through the canopy. And you see a doe with 2 spotted fawns, blackberries... ripe and luscious and verdant ferns. A bird you've not seen before calls--a glorious sound you've never heard in your entire life. It's all so fantastic that apprehension turn to curiosity and delight! There's so much to explore! And when that happens...you know that eventually you'll see your way through--but it no longer matters when or how. Because that place you've been visiting in your mind.........you know it better than you're dearest friend. And it's beautiful here."

 

***

 

 

Simple Math

I'm reading "Spiritual Simplicity" by Chip Ingram. It basically says...

ANYTHING minus LOVE = NOTHING

This isn't the new math. It's old school. You can read about it in I Corinthians, chapter 13.

It's really that simple.

Blessings to you and yours this weekend!

Stop Complaining and Move from Victim to Victor

     Seed For Thought...



I've been reading a wonderful little book entitled "Choosing Civility...the 25 rules of considerate conduct," by P.M. Forni. This book should be required reading for everybody. Seriously. Here are a few rules...

• Listen
• Pay Attention
• Be Inclusive
• Speak Kindly
• Respect Even a Subtle No
• Respect Other People's Time
• Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame
• and one of my favorites...Refrain from Idle Complaint

 

 Mr. Forni tells us that while there are indeed legitimate complaints; idle complaining is the 'unwarranted spreading of misery.' It is concentrating on problems instead of solutions and living in a state of pessimism. He says."... pessimism is like trudging in the mud. When you complain you stick your unfortunate listeners in your mud and you drag them along with you for no good reason." Sound familiar? Sure did to me!

What I like about this little book is that he gives great ideas for redirecting your negative energies into something more positive; but it does take a little introspection and some willingness to change. He suggests that we first make a list of all of the things we are prone to gripe about.
If you lack the self-awareness to know what you are constantly griping about, ask your spouse, best friend, or co-workers. Believe me; they know. Oh my yes, they know. (And don't get your feelings hurt when they honestly tell you!)

  Here's my partial list...uncooperative students, horrible parents of uncooperative students, hubby's long work day and commute, lack of time, being tired, a generation of people who feel 'entitled' to everything, TV programming...and much more.

Now, when you've finished the list...make a decision to stop complaining about one of your gripes for the whole month. When your month is completed, tackle the next item on your list and extinguish your complaining about that item. After 12 months, your griping should be under control. Does this mean that we just become Miss Suzie Sunshine and deny the existence of problems? Nope.

The other part of this process is that, while you are working on complaint-reduction; you will also be seeking to find some positive solutions for that problem. For example; if  I'm working on my issues around uncooperative students; I will begin looking for ways to encourage cooperation. Perhaps I can talk to other educators about how to deal with the problem. I can go to the library and find some books on the subject. Or I can try to find out if the student is having personal problems that are contributing to the problem.

 In any case, once I motivate myself to solve a problem rather than whine about it, I move from being a victim to a victor.

Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity, and consume your own smoke with an extra draft of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaints.              William Oser

 

 

 

 

                                     

Mindfulness, as taught in "How to Train a Wild Elephant"

I'm reading a catchy little book called "How to Train a Wild Elephant (& other adventures in mindfulness)." I like it because it's short and sweet, and gives fun little exercises to help us be more mindful in our everyday life.

The first chapter is quite simple...use your non-dominant hand off and on during the day. It helps you pay attention to what you are doing. Simple things we take for granted like writing, eating, even zipping up our pants becomes very interesting when done with the 'other' hand. The author, Dr. Jan Bays suggests that beyond becoming more mindful of what we are doing, there may be other benefits to this exercise. Our dexterity may increase over time. This just has to help our brains...right?

Now we're on Chapter 2, which is much more challenging for me...Leave No Trace. We are instructed to pick one room of our house (preferably the bathroom or kitchen), and try leaving no trace that we've been there for one week. That means picking up after yourself right away! Oh dear.

The author explains that in Zen paintings a turtle always symbolizes the practice of leaving no traces, because, to quote her exact words, "...they sweep the sand with their tails as they creep along, wiping out their footprints."

She suggests posting a sign that says 'Leave No Trace' in the room where you are practicing this habit, or even buying a little ceramic turtle, or picture of one. I really like this. I probably should put turtles in every room of my house! So this weekend I'm on the hunt for turtles (and picking up after myself.)

I look forward to reading every chapter of this book, and I recommend it to all who love the idea of living more mindfully.

Artwork from http://www.redland.qld.gov.au/AboutRedlands/History/Pages/In-the-beginning.aspx

 

***

Meeting the Family

One of the nicest benefits of being a Christian is that you are automatically a part of a great big family. It doesn't matter what church you attend, where you live, your political views, or your economic status, you are in. (Even if you don't always feel like you are.) Somehow we are supernaturally bound together by this one common thing: we love Jesus. When you meet another believer, you just feel at home. That's how I felt today when I met the lovely ladies from Mennonite Girls Can Cook. They were having a book signing in my area today, so I popped in to say hello. (And to purchase their fantastic cookbook!) These terrific ladies are raising money for needy children in the Ukraine with proceeds from their cookbook...busy fulfilling the words of Jesus when he said "I was hungry, and you fed me." I drove home feeling so very thankful that God has included me in his family, and that I can call 'the Mennonite Girls' my sisters in Christ.

http://www.mennonitegirlscancook.ca/

A photo of me and the Mennonite Girls. I'm the one standing.

Where's Deb



Where's Debbie? She should be out watching her garden growing on this lovely July day!

Hmmm, that's wierd...she's not helping Kelly prep the flowerbeds

for that load of bark. It was delivered last Thursday. That's not like her to let a gardening project sit for 3 days...especially on a sunny day.

There's a pile of books that would rival Mt. Fugi on her bedroom dresser. She must be planning to do some heavy reading. Shhh, if you peek at the titles you might get some insight into what that girl is all about! 'So Long Insecurities'...wow she must have issues...or maybe she's just trying to solve her 'girlfriends' problems...yeah, that's the ticket!

Here's a clue. A TV tray with an empty soup bowl, ice water with a straw, tissues, a cell phone and some scissors. Maybe she caught a cold.

Oh my goodness...I see some flip flops poking out from that snarl of tangled yarn on the recliner! We're getting closer....

Yup, that's her behind the tissue. She looks, well, how do you say it nicely...kinda puffy. And what's with the bandage on her hand?


Yes friends, this is Debbie, unplugged. Figuratively and literally. After 2 years of cowardly denial  careful deliberation, I finally took my nose doc's advice and had sinus surgery. He promised me that this is the end of nose drops, mucinex, cough drops, chewing gum to keep post nasal areas moving, carrying tissue in my purse, my car, my classroom, my bed, my bathroom, my suitcase, my pockets, cuffs, bra, and anywhere else I can stash it.
Had the surgery yesterday and according to my doc, it went perfectly. So for now I have  get to rest. No lifting, no bending. I'm just sittin' here with my yarn and some granny squares I started last summer, got bored of, and put away. (Note to self...write better directions when you postpone a project for another time. These instructions look like chicken scratch! Am I supposed to be chaining 3 here...or there?) I've made 4 attempts, but I think I've got it the next time.
Soup d'jour is Lipton Chicken Noodle, thanks to my master chef and nurse...Kelly. I didn't get to eat anything for 18 hours, and I've gotta say, Lipton soup never tasted so good; Four stars.
The doors are open and a soft summer breeze is moving throught the room. I'm listening to birds singing, Kelly's shovel scraping against the cement, and his transistor radio is playing 'Don't Go Breakin My Heart' - remember Elton John and Kiki D? It's happy and upbeat, which is just what I wanna hear today.
Koda's been running by the window chasing flies, barking at anyone who'll listen, and sipping ice water from her bowl. She's fussy about her water; prefers ice on sunny days...I can respect that. I do too!
I'll spare you the details of the surgery; but if you ever happen to have to have it, drop me a note and I'll fill you in on what to expect. There were a few surprises that nobody told me about. I'll leave it at that. But all in all, I'm doing just fine. Kelly is best caretaker in the world, I've got lots to keep me quietly occupied, and my doggy's sympathetic licks on my hands. I've got your fabulous blogs to entertain me. Most importantly, I have the Lord, who leadeth me beside the still waters. So it's good.
I'm told I'll be in pretty good shape by Tuesday, and fabulous shape in a few weeks.
I' gotta go. Gotta get back to those Granny Squares. Now does it say chain 3 then dc 2, or dc 2 then chain 3...?

Lettuce, Turkey Ham, and a Little Inspiration from Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is my hero. She's what I want to be when I grow up. It's not just her writing; which in itself would make her admirable. It's her soul-her grace, even regal manner.

So when I spotted her cookbook in the library "Great Food, All Day Long"; I snagged it. Didn't have to look inside...Maya doesn't write anything bad. And of course, it's just superb.

In one part she describes coming home from travelling to a house that 'resists' her. Cold, unfriendly, and aloof is how she describes it. (Oh how I love the imagery here; describing a house with human characteristics.) Her remedy for 'winning the house back' is to head to the kitchen and start cooking. She does it immediately...right after she sets her luggage down inside the door. 

It's true isn't it? The warmest, most inviting homes aren't necessarily the prettiest or the most spic-n-span; but they do always smell of good home cooking. So I headed for the cupboards to see what I could rustle up.

I had a half of a turkey ham in the freezer, a lot of fresh veggies in the keeper, some dried split peas, a dozen eggs and some rolls.  And; to my great delight, the leaf lettuce in my garden is ready to pick!
Sounds like the makin's for a great chef salad tonight, with soup for tomorrow and sandwiches for lunch; plus maybe some ham & eggs or waffles and ham on Thursday.



Chef Salad

Fresh lettuce
Cucumbers
Tomato
Hard Boiled Eggs
Green Onions
Garbanzo Beans
Black Olives
Cheddar Cheese
Cooked Ham
Sunflower Seeds
Your favorite Dressing

Or...Just use whatever you've got in the fridge.


I cooked the whole ham for soup and other meals, and I threw in a few extra eggs for egg salad sandwiches this week.




This photo is from Southern Living--the rest are mine.

I'm as proud as punch of this lettuce...it's the first produce from my garden.

Split Pea Soup with Ham

One 1-lb. package of dried split peas
Wash and sort peas.
Put them into a soup pot and cover with 6-8 cups of water.
Bring to a boil, then simmer...skimming foam off the top.
Add chunks of ham or a ham bone, a handful of diced onions.
Salt and pepper to taste.
Cook until peas are mushy; adding water to the consistency you desire.
I like my soups pretty thick.

Enjoy...then freeze the rest for an easy work-night meal.

Thanks Maya! My house is feelin' mighty friendly right about now!!

Sending Healing into Our Family's Future

     Isaiah 58: 12 says "And they that be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, the repairer of the breach; the restorer of paths to dwell in.

     This is a precious passage to me. I've made a pencil-drawing of my family tree which I keep carefully folded inside my Bible. Every now and then I take it out and place my hands over each name and pray for God's blessings upon them...from the oldest to the youngest. And I ask that God will strengthen my family tree and bloodlines with his grace and goodness...and that he will banish evil from it. I want those old waste places and breaches restored or in modern day language-the dysfunction healed.
     So this evening, as I continued my reading of "Storycatching",  by Christina Baldwin, chapter 7 really spoke to me. Chapter 7, entitled Writing and Talking in the Seven Generations describes a Basque tradition from the people of Spain which says...

Angeles Arrien, a transcultural anthropologist raised in the Basque traditions of the original mountain people of Spain, teaches that our ancestors hover over the cradle of each new baby born into their lineage and ask...'Will this be the child to heal the line? Will this be the one to change our story?'

     As a grandmother, I feel responsible to write as a legacy for my family; to say things that will connect past to  present; and give those headed into the future the foundation of knowing who they are by telling them where they have come from.     
     But an idea proposed in 'Storycatchers'  really startled me...the idea that one might actually be able to heal the family line with her stories by recording not only the admirable things we know about our family; but to expose the pitfalls, those dark shadowy clouds that seem to hang over consecutive generations...cursed things like alcoholism,  teen pregnacy, depression, poverty...and the like.
     I wonder... Could you and I really banish the monsters that have hidden in our closets for generations by exposing them? And if so, how can we tactfully yet courageously open those doors that so many family members would prefer that we keep shut?
       
     The final question in the chapter asked...

"What decisions made in the last three generations are you grateful for? What decisions are you making now that you hope your grandchildren will be grateful for?"

Something to think about, isn't it?

***

An Excerpt from "Storycatchers" : Extraordinary Grace

     With our bathroom remodel in full swing, mandatory state proficiency testing at school, a community meal with the Lummi's, our local Native American tribe, and life in general; time to write is precious this week. So rather than write something of my own, I will share an extraoradinary excerpt from a book I am reading. 
     In Storycatchers, by Christina Baldwin, there is a description of how an African tribe deals with a tribal member's wrongdoing:

I have read the story of a tribe in southern Africa called the Babemba in which a person doing something wrong, something that destroys this delicate social net, brings all work in the village to a halt. The people gather around the "offender," and one by one they begin to recite everything he has done right in his life: every good deed, thoughtful behaviour, act of social responsibility. These things have to be true about the person, and spoken honestly, but the time-honored consequence of misbehaviour is to appreciate that person back into the better part of himself. Ther person is given the chance to remember who he is and why he is important to the life of the village.

     The author goes on to say, "I want to live under such a practice of compassion. When I forget my place, when I lash out with some private wounding in a public way, I want to be remembered back into alignment with my self and my purpose. I want to live with the opportunity for reconciliation..."


Me too, Christina, me too.

***       

From My Library Bag: THE SISTERS from HARDSCRABBLE BAY by Beverly Jensen

I've noticed that quite often you like the same books, music, and movies that I do. (Yes, I snoop around your profiles.) And quite often when I see that you've listed a book or movie that is a favorite, I make a note to myself to check it out. Birds of a a feather do flock together! With that in mind, I thought I'd share my views on some of the books I've read lately...sort of a layman's book review.

Book:    The Sisters from Hardscrabble Bay

Author:  Beverly Jensen

Star Rating:  3.5 out of 5

Synopsis:  The story of sisters, Idella and Avis Hillock; daughters of a rough New Brunswick potato farmer/lobster fisherman and a beautiful mother who dies giving birth to their younger sister. The tragic death has a profound effect upon the girls' lives. The story covers  their lifetimes, from 1916 to 1987.

What I liked:  I love stories about common folk; and this surely is that! The characters are lively and flawed. The scenic descriptions are lovely. I love stories based in the early 1900s because like the heroines; my own mom was born in 1915. Folks from this era went from horse-and-buggies to Neil Armstrong's moon walk. Values changed drastically; especially women's roles in the world; forcing Western society to adapt and evolve rapidly. The story masterfully portrays this. And though I have some problems with the women in the story; I appreciate the fact that they are strong characters with minds of their own. As a writer, I admire Ms. Jensen's ability to create a story so character-driven that even everyday scenes are colorful and interesting.

What I didn't like: I felt that the explicit language was overdone. I'm trying very hard not to sound prudish when I write this. Now I've been around some pretty salty language in my day; but children were never permitted to speak this way. In this story; all of the characters, including the little girls swear like sailors. (My apologies to sailors; it's a figure of speech. I know there are many who are gentlemen!) Call me Miss Polyanna Sunshine if you will; but I just don't believe that everyone talks like this!

There is enough sexual explicitness in the story in it for me to rate it an 'R'; but not enough to really turn me off.  And since, upon reflection, I probably am a bit of a Polyanna Sunshine, I prefer a little 'lighter' story than this.

Would I recommend the book? If you were from New Brunswick I might casually suggest it; as long as you were over 18. But generally, speaking, no. I think there's better stuff out there. That said, Stephen King gave it a rave review!

Reading Dylan Thomas in Nooks and Crannies

I finally got it! A Nook- Barnes and Noble's electronic book. I've been debating getting one of these for a while. I love everything about books- from their beautiful covers to the yellowed, musty, dog-eared pages of my favorite antique copies, to the stateliness they lend to my bookshelf. But I am suffering from a problem common to all book-aholics; no space. There are books on shelves, books under tables, atop refrigerators; on the counters under the beds and tucked away in closets. I finally reasoned that until we can buy a home big enough to house my collection; I can store books on a Nook and save my shelf space for my most precious copies. Why, I can even buy a book on Nook, and if I really really really love it; I'll buy a hard copy. My hubby really liked this idea so he bought it for my birthday. It is one of the most awesome presents I have ever gotten. I can download literally millions of free books; I can request samples of books to purchase; read reviews, highlight my favorite passages, create bookshelves, and best of all; read. Yesterday was cold and gloomy, the perfect day to read. So I downloaded this classic into my nook and settled myself into hubby's comfy recliner with a flannel quilt and puppy Koda lying beside me. And since I want my dog to have a well-rounded education-I read the story aloud to her.

I think this was Koda's favorite part:

It was snowing, It was always snowing at Christmas. December, in my memory, is white as Lapland, although there were no reindeers. But there were cats. Patient, cold, and callous, our hands {himself and Jim Prothero's} wrapped in socks, we waited to snowball the cats.

I'm sure Koda snickered at this part.

My favorite passage reads:

There were the Useful Presents: engulfing mufflers of old coach days, and mittens made for giant sloths, zebra scarfs of a substance like silky gum that could be tug-o-warred down to the galoshes; blinding tam-o-shanters like patchwork tea cozies and bunny suited busbies and balaclavas for victims of head-shrinking tribes; from aunts who always wore wool next to the skin there were mustached and rasping vests that made you wonder why the aunts had any skin left at all; and once I had a little crocheted nose bag from an aunt now, alas, no longer whinnying with us.

Yes, I laughed out loud as I read this passage! I must admit that I have been the giver of Useful Presents more than once; and I have made mittens that would fit a giant sloth before-along with other ill-fitting Useful Things! I think this part was lost on Koda, as she doesn't knit; and I haven't had a chance to knit a sweater for her yet.

This book only cost me 99 cents to download! How great is that! This is the first book on my 'Christmas Book' shelf in my Nook. And to quote Dr. Suess, 'Oh the places I can go!'

So here's Koda today. We had a White Thanksgiving. She wants me to snowball cats with her!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Some Girls Buy Shoes; I Buy Books

When I go shopping with women friends, we often wind up in shoe stores. For hours. It's all about strappy straps and pointy toes and how high the heel should be. I'm good-natured enough about it, but really I don't care much about shoes. I know this is downright sacreligious to some of you.

Shopping heaven for me is having a minimum of 2 hours to spend by myself in a bookstore. Give me Village Books in Fairhaven or a comfy chair in Barnes and Noble. I do believe I could settle in for winter in either location. Tonight was such an evening. Hubby was bowling; leaving me the entire evening to entertain myself at the bookstore. Now I can spend all day in the mall and leave without a single bag. Not so in the bookstore. This is where I toss all frugality out the window and indulge myself. I don't set out to buy so many books-it just sort of happens. I had recently finished reading a borrowed copy of 'The Art of Racing in the Rain.' I was so impressed I decided to buy a copy as a gift for a relative. But, as luck would have it, this wonderful book was on a sale table-buy two, get one free. So I bought myself a copy as well, then chose 'Animal, Vegetable, Miracle' as my free book. AND....how could I pass up that beautiful Sara Wilkins book bag with the picture of the pretty girl reading as she walked through the autumn leaves? Well, I just couldn't. I just couldn't!

***

Despite my aforementioned knitting disaster (the infamous Razzberry Beret); I continue to knit. I don't know why. Maybe it's the color or the repetition. It's like gambling, but much less expensive. My coffee table is laden with library books about knitting. The sofa is strewn with snippets of yarn. I find myself buying yarn like I used to buy fabric-just for the color. I don't have to be thinking of a project, persey (is this how you spell per-say?), I just need to buy yarn. Wool yarn, acrylic yarn. Variegated colors. Bright fuschias, forest greens, rich chocolatey mochas and vanilla bean colors. If I can't buy yarn, things about knitting will do. So yesterday I stopped by Barnes & Noble for a hot chocolate with extra whipping cream and a visit to the crafting section. I found this extraordinary knitting book! It's title was enough to draw me in..."Mason*Dixon Knitting". Subtitled The Curious Knitters' Guide. Stories, Patterns, Advice, Opinions, Questions, Answers, Jokes, and Pictures. Who could resist such a title? If you love to knit and you enjoy folksy writing, this book is a must have!

***

From "Lists to Live By"

This is a nice little book I picked up at my local library. It's inspirational and very easy to read. Here's a sample...

18 MEMOS FROM YOUR CHILD

• Don' t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I'm testing you.
• Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it; it makes me feel more secure.
• Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
• Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly big.
• Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quitely with me in private.
• Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
• Don't be too upset when I say I hate you. It isn't you I hate, but your power to thwart me.
• Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.
• Don't nag. If you do I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
• Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.
• Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That is why I am not always very accurate.
• Don't be inconsistant. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
• Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
• Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
• Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover you are neither.
• Don't ever think it's beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you.
• Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try.
• Don't forget I need lots of understanding and love.

From: "Lists to Live By, the First Collection"

Don't you agree that this is good advice for any relationship?

Having Everything but Money; or having Nothing Except Money

With all of the news of bank crashes, crazy oil prices and bailouts, I've been thinking much about the Great Depression. Mom and Dad used to tell me stories about what times were like back then. I wish they had written those stories down. Yesterday I stopped by the library and checked out several books on the subject. My favorite is titled, "When the Banks Closed, We Opened Our Hearts." The subtitle really says it all... 'More Heartfelt Memories of the Great Depression...from folks who recall the days when we had everything except money.' The book gives first - hand accounts of folks who lost everything. Many children had to be sent to orphanages because their parents couldn't afford to feed them; 'Okies' followed Route 66 to California after losing their homes and farms in the Dust Bowl. But this book is not depressing. It is inspiring. People helped each other. They took each other in and shared what they had. And they were grateful for what they had. If these resilient folks, as they put it, had everything except money, could this generation be labelled as those who have nothing but money? Maybe we're being given a golden opportunity right now, to take an inventory of the things we have that are not monetary. And if we are coming up short, it might be time to invest in the things that really matter.

++++++++++++